


Is it metal?

by endless-reboots (sweetcl0ver)



Series: Wade's Birthday Surprise [2]
Category: Deadpool (Movieverse)
Genre: F/M, M/M, but they're heavily referenced, this time it's the metal boys who arent really in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 13:39:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15438228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetcl0ver/pseuds/endless-reboots
Summary: Wade tells Vanessa about his threesome with Cable and Colossus. With sex. Come on, you knew that. You saw the rating.





	Is it metal?

Wade was engaged in two of his top three favorite Vanessa-related activities-- kissing her gorgeous soft mouth while sliding gently into her-- when she pulled her perfect face back with a pleased hum and said, “Babe. You were going to tell me about your epic birthday threesome, remember?”

“What, right _now_?”

“Well, shouldn’t you do it while we have… you know, an audience?” Vanessa raised her eyebrows meaningfully to indicate _you_ , ya perv.

“I’m _pretty_ sure _you’re_ not supposed to break the fourth wall, but I can’t argue with that logic.”

“What can I say. You rub off on me. If you know what I mean.”

“I always do, babe. Okay, so there I was in Cable’s room in the X-Mansion, and Cable was being all, grr, your costume’s dumb, MY costume’s all manly and full of guns and pouches and gadgets and really hard to draw so my artists are never consistent, and I was all--”

“Honey, skip to the good part. You know the readers are going to.”

“Okay, so then _Colossus_ walks in, and I was just _flabbergasted_ , I was expecting Cable but I never would have thought in a million years that Colossus would agree to this sausage party. And I said the funniest thing, babe, I said ‘two metal boys--’”

“Wade, let’s not repeat jokes from the first story, okay? It wasn’t that funny and it looks like lazy writing.”

“Okayyy. So we’re all three of us naked on the bed and Cable just starts _plowing_ me. Like, he’s relentless, he’s like--”

“How about a little more showing and a little less telling?”

“It was kinda like this.” Wade starts thrusting into Vanessa harder-- not as hard as Cable had done to him, just shy of the upper limit of what he knew she liked. Vanessa didn’t have his healing factor and he didn’t have Cable’s unrepressed rage issues. He listened to her gasp sharply a few times, then slowed down again. Wade didn’t really like being rough with Vanessa. She could be rough with him all day long, though, that was fine and dandy.

“So after I made Cable come cause I’m good like that, it was Colossus’ turn--”

“Babe, I’m trying to follow along with the narrative but you didn’t make me come yet.”

Wade cursed mildly and pulled out, settling between his fiancée’s thighs to perform the third of his top three favorite Vanessa-related activities. He licked into her like a starving man and, miracle of miracles, Wade Wilson did not speak for a solid five-to-ten minute period until Vanessa, gasping and moaning through her second or third orgasm, had to physically push his bald head away. (That was something they both missed. Wade’s short but soft, luxurious hair. So perfect for grabbing and pulling during a variety of adult activities.)

“Okay, honey, I think I’m, _mmm_ , I’m all caught up. So, Colossus…?”

“Oh, baby, Colossus. I don’t know how the Bea Arthur-loving-fuck you convinced him to agree to this, but...”

“He was NOT easy. It wasn’t a 30-second phone call like with Cable. I ended up having dinner with him.”

“Really? You went to the Olive Garden or some shit with a seven-foot-tall metallic mutant god of a man?”

“Nah, he invited me to the X-Mansion and cooked for me.”

“What? You had a cute little dinner date with Colossus and he cooked for you?! I am so insanely jealous.”

“You should be. He’s a great cook.”

“Of course he is. Goddammit.” 

“Anyway… I think you were about to tell me what else he’s great at.” Vanessa pushed gently at Wade’s hip until he rolled over on his back for her. She climbed on top, sinking down onto him. Everything felt slow and sensual after her orgasm: the soft sheets on her shins, Wade’s trembling torso under her thighs, his firm, heavy cock inside her. She rocked back and forth, hands braced against his solid chest, sighing.

“He was really slow and gentle at first. Kinda like this.” He grasped her hips and slowed her already-relaxed pace down even more. “And he was talking to me real quiet in Russian. I didn’t use to think Russian was a sexy language, but I have to say, Ness, I came around.”

“Mm, nice. Should I learn some Russian?”

“I’m not gonna be the one to stand in the way of your personal growth. So, thing is… then he got kinda mean.”

“I’m having a really hard time picturing that.”

“Yeah, well, just wait till you hear what he did. He pinned my arms down… (ahem) I said HE PINNED MY ARMS DOWN...”

“Sorry, you were almost being subtle. Like this?”

“Oh, _fuck_ yes… and then he said… babe, you’re not gonna believe this, he said I couldn’t blow my load unless I stopped cussing.”

“You’re right, I don’t believe that.”

“Well, it happened!”

“I mean I don’t believe Colossus used the phrase ‘blow your load.’”

“Okay, he might have said it classier than that.”

“So? Did you do it?”

“Oh, babe, it was so hard. And Cable wouldn’t help _at all_ , can you believe that?”

“Easily.”

Wade started to pant and shift restlessly under her. “Babe, I don’t want you to get any ideas, but it was actually kinda fuckin’ really hot.”

She smirked at him. “Poor Wade. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t do that to you. So did he let you? Did you ever get to come?”

“Yeah, he… yeah, I… oh, fuck, Ness, I-- I’m gonna--”

“Nuh-uh. Me first.” She shoved her fingers into Wade’s eager mouth to slick them up, then rubbed herself firmly as she thrust her hips against him. He gasped, groaned in frustration, bit his lip until he finally felt her clench and flutter around his cock and he could let himself join her in orgasmic bliss.

The pulses of electric sensation slowed, their frantic panting breaths returned to normal. Vanessa delicately pulled herself off Wade’s softening cock and laid down in his embrace. She still had one big, burning, imperative question.

“Babe. I can’t stop thinking about it. I have to know. When Colossus comes, is it, like...”

“Is it metal?!”

“Yes!!”

“Oh my god, babe, I wondered about that so much, but honestly, I checked afterwards and I don’t think so. I looked in the mirror and everything. And I had a lot of mirrors available. I had to take a shower right after, because between Cable, Colossus, and me? It was _everywhere_.”

“It was _everywhere_ , huh. Did you like that, babe? Are you my little cumslut?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Tell me.”

“I’m your little cumslut, Ness… oh, dang it.”

“Wow, that was a quick turn-around, even for you. Should I go get the strap-on?”

“Yeah, but can I eat you out again first?”

“How about you eat me out while I fuck you with the big sparkly purple vibrator?” 

“Ness, you’re a _genius_.”

“I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> I regretted leaving Vanessa out of the first story and wanted to redeem myself. Listen. We all make mistakes. I'm not too big to admit mine. Also it's canon that all Wade and Vanessa do in their free time is fuck and watch musicals. I didn't write the screenplay, don't blame me. Hit me up at endless-reboots.tumblr.com


End file.
